Lenten Reflection 6: Confession

Contrary to popular misconception, confession is not a burden Orthodox Christians must endure. Personally, I find it a joy. Being Lent, it is proper to make a confession of my sins before Pascha. Naturally, most of what I confessed is between me and my priest. But I will attempt briefly to convey something of the experience.

In the first place, get images of confessional booths out of your mind. There is no "bless me Father for I have sinned." Instead, I approach the icon of Christ at the front of the church. The priest stands behind me. Any power the priest has to forgive our sins is given to him by Christ. He is there not to accuse or to judge me, but to support me. He "has my back."

Then I begin reading a short confession. The point of this is not to leave no sin unturned, to confess everything just in case I forget something. The point is to be honest with myself and with Christ. One of the prayers prayed during vespers asks God to keep us "from making excuses in sin." This is the worst of all human habits isn't it? To excuse ourselves of our sinfulness. We justify ourselves.

After this the priest asks me if I have any other sins I would like to confess. We are taught to be so private, especially in our culture. Talking about our shortcomings with another person can be excruciating. But every time I have found that I feel relieved, but not because I have unburdened myself of my guilt. The point of confession is to receive some spiritual direction. I am relieved because after making this confession I know how to proceed. I get wonderful advice from Fr. Steven, a man who has read the church fathers not in the same way I do, for theological tidbits to work into a system. Instead, he draws from a storehouse of practical, spiritual wisdom that he brings to bear on my situation.

That's all there is to it. I kneel before the icon of Christ. Fr. Steven places his stole over me as a sign of the forgiveness of Christ, and I receive forgiveness am admitted to the sacraments of the Church.

Once a Protestant friend said that I shouldn't confess my sins to a priest. I just needed to confess them to Jesus, privately. Of course, private confession is part of my discipline. And even confession with a priest is still confession before Christ. It just happens to be within earshot of a person who can help me. That's what I find most helpful about "public" confession. I am not as free to make excuses for my shortcomings when I know that I need to tell them to somebody else. The desert fathers taught that to expose a sin was to rob it of its power. It is in secret, even when they are hidden from ourselves, that our sins can control us. So, rather than make a blanket "just-in-case" confession to Christ, something like "Dear Jesus, forgive me just in case I did anything wrong," I prefer to confront my many, many sins, to expose them, and offer them as sacrifices to One who has the power to save me from them.